What being random means

Maria Theresa  ...	Hi Dannie!
◄	Are you okay?	1:36:48 PM
◄	you seem to be quiet lately	1:36:52 PM
◄	1:1 session - for what's on your mind?	1:37:07 PM
◄	or just for laughing trip?	1:37:12 PM

I was sitting next to empty chairs today and only a few reported to the place where my desk stands. My mentor dropped me a chat message and I was caught a little bit surprised and actually made me ask myself, was I okay?

There wasn’t much going on with me lately and my being silent was sort of due to that ‘lack’. Sure I had little things that I wasn’t very comfortable with, but was it the reason why I had these one-step-back moments?

If it wasn’t for her checking up on me, I wouldn’t probably have the urge to write again.

Probably because I sit next to some huge bay windows spanning through the entire floor and when I throw a glance outside, it keeps me questioning myself for some more.

What do I really want to do? How can I do the things that I want to? What do I want to be?

The problem with being such a big dreamer, wanting to reach for the stars instead of the moon is that there are just so many things to dream of, with the difficulty in weighting which one is heavier and which can come as a plan b. 

Moving away from the endless fuss, it feels just great that you have a few people around you that sincerely checks how you are out of a random blue. More than anything else, what I am truly grateful for are the people sitting next to you checking how appetizing your lunch looks like, your boss asking you for your next travel destination, your peer checking on your plans for the weekend and another one brining you in some food or a mentor that invites you for a 1:1 just for the fun of it. 

These are why I appreciate the random in people. It is in random that the purest form comes to life.