Friday, May 10, 2013

Chasing the Dance Steps: Flirting and Emotions

Love is all about gambling and soon enough you will realize how many gambles you have had made. Over a love that didn’t blossom, a love you wish you had made and a love that you are lucky enough to have. It wasn’t after a few weeks back that I assumed being anti-relationships. And let me make an early disclaimer that I do not mean to let you feel that you made the wrong choice in the event that you are currently in a valid relationship (not a pseudo one). As a matter of fact, relationships make us whole.

But you do have to understand that relationships are something that you cannot earn overnight. And people needs to understand that relationships are not a result of a premature attraction, at least it shouldn’t be. It usually starts with that little yet deceiving feeling of being so excited to see that one text message, or trying to prolong the exchange of texts and playing the game of who replies the last as a benchmark of who is the reacher and who is the settler.  This phase usually is important to build the framework of a budding romance. It may be built; it may somehow be destroyed by unforeseen events, such as an earthquake of one’s thoughts and suddenly had a realization for whatever its worth, of being unprepared for the battle. It always is just between the two. 

So you liked someone. And you got exactly the signs you need to assume that you have the right to play the game. You know exactly what I mean. And it keeps running that way, the spark never leaves and this phase is just the most beautiful of them all. Of chasing, of trying to understand what the other thinks but doesn’t want to ask for the fear of being too pushy or appear rushing. And you got yourself the self-acclaimed state of feeling the most wonderful feeling on earth. You got to establish this mutual liking without having to say the exact words to put it formally. And then suddenly, just in the middle of the course you still are trying to take, it stops right there. Sometimes, you are given an advisory note (your consolation). Sometimes not and you have to figure it out for yourself with the bitter feeling of not deserving an explanation for the unsolicited jerk-ness if I may coin. Either way, it doesn’t make a clear sense why that has to happen. It just did. You want to get mad, but now you regress to that stage of assumptions and realizes, you never really had the right to, in the first place.

And you were told to remain friends, perhaps. And to just sit right there and be calm as if nothing that’s too important to mind happened. What an insult to how your brain and heart functions. As if the world mocks you, saying ‘hey, that’s the way the cookie crumbles’. 

This is exactly why I understand the people who are too pessimistic about these premature affairs. Others just don’t have one basic sense, sensitivity. When you start playing with feelings, do bear in mind that you are liable for it because it takes two to tango. Just as in the course that it is not even valid to say that you came unprepared and somewhere in the crossroads, you realize you aren’t ready to play the game of cards. What happens to the one you left hanging? Thanks for your time? It was wonderful while it lasted, until…’.

You see, there are no retreats in real life. Once you placed your foot forward, the dance starts. We choose the dance we want to dance and the dance partner we want to dance with. But if you just had a cold feel just as soon as the music has already started and when you already have both poised yourselves in front of each other, then what a coward you are, needless to say, you do not deserve to be on the dance floor.