Have you ever found yourself sitting on top of your bed, staring at the glares that your screen is illuminating towards your cornea? Have you ever tried to be breathing blankly in a quiet room where the silence sounds like a thin monotonous tone which to me is like that of which a brass produces, that annoying tingle that usually signifies you are deaf.
I'm not quite sure if this is normal, although I am certain that this is too early for a mid life crisis. I'm losing track.
This is just one of those days when you get to be so tired of the things you constantly need to do, neglecting those that you want to. But I am not new to this, I have been trying to live with it for the past couple of years and yet, I haven't gotten myself to be immune with it.
It's crazy how you tried to make yourself believe that this was a good choice from the start, and all you have to do is to believe in yourself. Nah, such a fool to be too idealistic. They will always just be an idea in the end. And now that you have walked too far from the starting point, you wonder if there's still a chance to turn your back. And if you do, which path will you take? Now that you know that you have done nothing but to persuade yourself!
Well maybe you were just a victim, well maybe you didn't had a choice.
Well maybe because there were no other roads to take, practically.
But what do you do now that you are at the crossroads? Truth is, a choice is not to be made if one shouldn't be considered as an option in the first place.
Escape from it? I tried. But I soon realized that it escaping a problem doesn't solve it. During exams, you just have to skip the difficult parts for a while, but you have to come back at them eventually.
I had the chance. But I didn't. I endured it no matter how reckless those life changing moments were.
But a battle is not without an end.
Your mind may tell you otherwise, but your heart knows when to quit.